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Tell ya MONA what we’re gonna do…

Where do you get married when you’re not keen on a church wedding and you live in Tasmania, thus making very risky the prospect of an outdoor ceremony? This is the dilemma facing Learner Dad and I at...

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A Decent Proposal

“Now is a good time to have a think about what kind of bling you’re going to wear for the rest of your life,” I said to Learner Dad, pointing at the mens’ wedding rings on display. We were at a local...

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The minute you walk in that joint…

“All I know is we’re going to Melbourne,” Learner Dad announced when we were talking about his Buck’s night. “Is that what your groomsmen have organised?” I asked. “No, but that’s what we’re doing,” he...

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Looking for The One

“You have to get down here,” I wailed to Mum in a panic. It was a wedding dress sale. Girls were dashing from one end of the room to the other, hoisting up white dresses and dragging trains behind...

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‘Til divorce do us part

I stared at the TV with dismay. Another celebrity divorce. I didn’t care much for Russell Crowe or Danielle Spencer. In fact, I didn’t know much about them. He was the guy who threw phones and she was...

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Here comes the bride(zilla)

“Who wants to say something? Anyone?” It was open mike at a wedding reception. I didn’t know the bride or groom but joked to Learner Dad about going up to make a little speech. “Yes I can see it now,”...

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Maid to choose

At first, I didn’t plan to have bridesmaids. I suggested to Learner Dad we simply employ our two children as attendants. Master Seven could stand up one end with him, and Li’l Fatty could accompany...

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Get the picture?

“I’ve put her up on Facebook already. Is that bad?” I heard someone whisper after the bride had walked down the aisle. I was shocked. Dozens, possibly hundreds, of strangers were privy to this poor...

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My big non-fat sleek wedding

Learner Dad walked into the loungeroom and tried to stifle a laugh. I was down on one knee, pushing a hand weight out behind me. “Don’t you dare laugh at me,” I declared, quite seriously. I was already...

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Cry me a river baby

He stood there nervously, moving from one foot to the next as he waited. He smiled and joked with the people around him until, suddenly, everything went quiet. She was here. His bride. As she walked...

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Without this ring, I thee wed

“I don’t know if I want to wear a wedding ring,” Learner Dad said seriously. I looked at him. “Just joking!” he laughed, poking me in the side. Hmmm. He’d made this joke about eight times now and I was...

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Don’t Dream It’s Over

Someone shoved me toward the dance floor. “Go on, you haven’t had a dance yet.” Confused I wandered toward the faint strains of All You Need is Love by The Beatles, a song Learner Dad and I had agreed...

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Do I give a toss?

“Alison, quick, they’re going to throw the bouquet! Where’s Alison? Has anyone seen Alison? “Are there any single girls here besides Alison?” Being the token singleton at weddings for most of my 20’s...

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Pre-nuptial agreement

My brother and his wife were married in a Catholic church and he was shocked to find out they were to have pre-marriage counseling. He thought it sounded like a bit of a wank. I did too. But, in the...

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